


What I Should Have Done

by WilmaKins



Series: Whatever Makes You Happy [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Body Image, Declarations Of Love, Emotional, Emotional Porn, Emotional Sex, Emotions, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Protective Steve, Sappy, Sappy Ending, Steve Rogers Feels, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-03 23:18:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16335125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WilmaKins/pseuds/WilmaKins
Summary: After all the pain and crisis in Wakanda, the world is finally safe (for now) and Steve and Tony are finally together.And, yeah, they still have a lot of hurt to go through, and a lot of issues to deal with from what happened before.And, yeah, there will obviously be a lot of hurt in their future - they're Avengers. It's in the job description.But, right now, they're just very, very happy.Technically a sequel to Whatever Makes You Happy, but I don't think you'd have to read the first work if you just want to read about Tony being cuddled and loved and told he's wonderful, for once.





	What I Should Have Done

**Author's Note:**

> Too many notes time!  
> 1\. This is technically a sequel, but the first one is rather long and angsty - if you're just here for the cuddles, all you really need to know is that Steve and Tony finally understand how the other feels, and they've finally talked about everything.  
> 2\. I have never written anything NSFW before, and I'm so nervous that I've already gone to post this and deleted it several times... but that's true of everything I've posted, and everyone has been so supportive, so I'm going to be brave. But if it's awful (and it might be) then I'm sorry - I've deliberately posted it as a separate story, so we can all pretend it didn't happen.

Tony had pictured this moment _so_ many times.

 

He’d thought about Steve throwing him down, hard, on his bed, on his work bench, in the quin jet. He’d imagined Steve kissing him in anger, in a moment of madness, in the heat of battle or in that dizzy few moments after they saved the world. He’d thought of a million fantastic scenarios in which Steve could feasibly lose his mind for long enough to want him.

 

But he’d never imagined anything like this.

 

It had never even occurred to him that it could be as affectionate as this. The way Steve kissed him was so _tender_ , his lips gently teasing Tony’s apart, his hands stroking their way up Tony’s back. It was better than anything Tony had ever dreamed up – it was _hotter_ than anything Tony had ever dreamed up. It was a bigger taboo, somehow, touching Steve like this, it felt more real and affected him more deeply than any of his fantasies. When Steve’s fingers ghosted over the back of his neck Tony felt a shiver run right through the core of him. Tony pressed his hands firmer into Steve’s back, possessively, kissing him deeper. There was a sudden, sharp heat as Steve ground against him. Tony could feel the outline of Steve’s cock pressed against his hip. _Oh God, he’s hard. For me._

 

Steve slid his hands back down Tony’s spine, firmer now, the affection heating into something more urgent as Tony moved his whole body against him. When Tony had to gasp for air Steve didn’t hesitate; he moved to kiss Tony’s neck, sweetly, just below his ear, and then lower as Tony tiled his head to give him more access. Then he felt Steve kiss the soft, vulnerable skin of his throat and his breath caught in his chest. It was the most intimate feeling he’d ever experienced, it made every inch of his skin feel new and exposed and sensitive. He dug his fingers into Steve’s back, _Steve’s strong, solid shoulders,_ and felt Steve exhale, hot and sharp, against neck.

 

“You’re the only person I have ever wanted like this” Steve whispered, his hands curving around Tony’s waist now. “It’s always been you. It’s only ever been you”

 

And if he hadn’t been holding Steve as close as that, Tony’s legs might actually have given way beneath him. It was the tone Steve used as much as anything, an immediate, emotional voice that Tony had only ever heard Steve use in fleeting moments. He’d clung to those moments, chased any hint of honest feeling from Steve, and now here it was all laid out for him, right here for him.

 

“And I am so sorry for all the stupid choices I made, when all I _ever_ wanted was for you to be happy. I’ll always be sorry for how much I’ve hurt you.”

“I’m not hurt _now_ ” Tony answered mindlessly, curling his fingers into the fabric of Steve’s t-shirt. And then Steve spread those big, strong hands over Tony’s hips and lifted him effortlessly. Tony felt a dip in his stomach like the crest of a fairground ride. He wrapped his legs around Steve’s waist and Steve held him like that as he climbed onto the bed, then he laid Tony out down in the middle of the sheets.

 

Steve settled between Tony’s legs and lowered himself over him, his whole body _right there_. Tony grabbed Steve by the waist as Steve kissed him again. And then he thought, _I’m allowed._ All those things he’d wanted to do, _wished_ he could do. He thought of Steve’s beautiful skin, how warm and soft and liquid smooth it always was whenever Tony contrived a fleeting excuse to touch it – _and he was allowed._ Tony ran his hands under Steve’s t-shirt, gathering the fabric, revelling in the flawless expanse of him under his hands. Then Steve pushed himself up on his arms and curled his shoulders, encouraging Tony to push his shirt up until he could shrug his way out of it.

 

“Jesus Christ, Steve” Tony whispered, because he was allowed to do that too. He was allowed to look at Steve, he was allowed to touch. He could just put his hands on that glorious chest, he could kiss those magnificent shoulders, he could-

 

But before he could do any of it, Steve’s hands were sliding under his shirt, S _teve’s_ hands on his bare skin, and Tony just stopped thinking and let him. He leant up, lifting his arms so that Steve could pull his shirt off and throw it aside, and then he could feel the heat of Steve right there. _Oh, those perfect lips…_

 

When Tony kissed him again it was desperate, and there was a sudden rush as he was finally pressed against him, skin-to-skin. Steve slid one arm under Tony’s back, immovable, pulling Tony into him easily. God, he was so strong – so this is what that _felt_ like.

 

Steve lowered Tony back against the mattress. He looked down on him with an awed, hungry expression that Tony had never seen, and all the air left Tony’s body. Steve rested his weight on one arm and ran his other hand slowly up Tony’s side, over his chest, and Tony arced up into it instinctively. Then he felt Steve’s fingertips trace over the edges of the deep, gnarled scar over his heart.

 

The first thing he was aware of was a sharp, vulnerable feeling on his skin, something he’d never felt before. No one had ever touched that scar, not like this. Tony _hated_ that scar, and suddenly he couldn’t believe he’d forgotten all about it – that this might be the first time he’d _ever_ taken his shirt off and not immediately thought about it. But Steve hadn’t stared at it, or avoided staring at it… and Steve was touching it, the same genuine, loving way that he was touching Tony everywhere else… and Tony liked it. The skin there was sensitive, and Steve’s fingers felt cool, and electric, and… well, who knew?

 

Tony began writhing under Steve’s touch, achingly hard now, running his hands over every inch of Steve he could reach. He wanted so much to kiss Steve again, but Steve was still looking at him like that, and Tony was pinned by it, not wanting to break it for anything.

“You’re _beautiful_ ” Steve whispered, his voice hot and low, never taking his eyes off Tony’s “You’re _special_ , Tony, unique and dazzling and wonderful, and I’ve _always_ thought it, and I’m so sorry you never knew it. I’m an idiot, that’s all there is to it, it was never because you weren’t enough, you _always_ deserved better than that.” Tony heard himself gasp, and he didn’t care. He didn’t care if he looked overwhelmed or emotional, because he was. He wasn’t scared of this. And Steve leant in close, and kissed him softly, once, before he carried on “There were so many times, I looked at you and wondered if you were the reason I woke up in the future. If it was all because there was no other way I could have known you, because I was meant to meet you – I _liked_ thinking that, Tony. It made everything better, thinking that.”

“Really?” Tony breathed, not thinking about it even after he’d said it. He would never have been that openly needy with anyone else – that, specifically, had always been a firm no. But he’d never felt like this before. He felt cut open, searingly human – and he loved it. He _felt_ free; he’d completely forgotten all the pressures he was now free from. He’d let go of neurosis and anxiety he hadn’t even known he had.

“Really, Tony, _so_ many times. And, honestly, this makes every single thing worth it. If this was the only way I could be with you, then it’s fine. I’d do it all again from the very beginning, if this was what I was doing it for.” Tony believed him. He _knew_ Steve really meant that, that he really had thought it before.

“Steve…” He whispered, not able to find words for what that meant to him. And then Steve kissed him again, and Tony melted into it helplessly.

 

At last, Steve was pressed against him, and Tony could finally feel that friction he’d been longing for. He ground against Steve shamelessly, moaning as Steve began rocking against him. And then Steve moved to kiss his neck again, urgent and possessive now, and then along his collar bone, and he wriggled lower so that he could kiss Tony’s chest… Tony’s cock twitched as he realised, in that split second before, what Steve was about to do – and then Steve’s mouth was at the top of the scar, not hesitating for a moment, kissing him just as deeply. Tony’s skin fizzed under Steve’s lips, a thousand tiny shocks running through the scar tissue, a shiver he could feel deep in his spine. He grabbed Steve’s hair mindlessly, unable to speak to tell him not to stop. Then he felt the tip of Steve’s tongue flit lightly over the groove in his skin, and a high, startled gasp escaped him.

 

Steve glanced up, the light catching the blue of his eyes, his lips even darker and fuller now.

“Fuck, Steve, you’re _impossible_ , just perfect-“ Tony exhaled, stopping short when he saw Steve _smile_. “You don’t hate that?” He outright asked, honestly baffled, and Steve’s smile melted into a frown. “The scar. It’s doesn’t…freak you out?” And Steve’s eyes widened in surprise, and he lifted his head just enough to look at Tony when he answered.

“I love this scar. I loved the arc reactor. I love – it must have been terrifying, it must have hurt so much, and no one would be brave enough or mad enough to do that, to be that determined to survive, to be that determined not to-” Steve stumbled, as all the things he’d wanted to say fell apart under that increasing need. “I love you for this.” He whispered, dropping his head to kiss the scar softly again. “I am amazed by this, that’s all”

“Oh Steve that’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said” Tony babbled, the words tumbling out without spaces between them as Steve went back to his chest, teasing and kissing and licking his way the length of the wound. Tony fell apart completely beneath him, whimpering and panting and carding his hand roughly through Steve’s hair. Then Steve’s lips moved lower, trailing kisses over Tony’s stomach. Tony stroked a firm hand along the back of Steve’s neck, then began caressing his shoulder, unconsciously urging him lower.

 

He felt Steve unfasten his jeans and arched his hips to let Steve tug them down. He hissed as the cool air hit his legs, feeling how wet his underwear was already.

“Can I?” Steve whispered, curling his fingertips over the waistband of Tony’s boxers.

“Yes, God yes” Tony answered immediately, not really thinking about the question, just know that all the answers were yes. And then Steve was stripping him, pushing his underwear and his jeans down over his legs until Tony could kick them over his feet. And then he was completely naked, and Steve was right there, his hand caressing Tony’s hip, and God, he was going to-

 

Steve put his lips to the tip of Tony’s cock and then took the head into his mouth slowly, like he was trying it out – like he was _shy_. Which was, without question, the hottest idea Tony had ever tried to fit into his head. Tony let his head fall back as Steve carried on, taking the length of him just as slowly but a bit more surely. He gripped the sheets until his knuckles were white, wanting to grab Steve’s hair and thrust into his mouth, willing himself to maintain some sort of control. Then Steve took the length of him again, and again, his tongue stroking over the head of Tony’s cock, and Tony let out a high, pleading whine.

“Sweet Jesus Christ Steve, oh my God” He babbled, rocking up to meet Steve now. Steve picked up the pace, sucking him harder, his hand stroking roughly over Tony’s hip. “Oh fuck, you’re so good, this is so good.”

 

Tony let go of the sheets and started caressing firm hands over Steve’s neck and shoulders. Then Steve grabbed Tony and pulled him into his mouth, like he wanted more of him, taking him deeper, and that low pleasure spiked into something even more urgent, more desperate-

 

And then Tony looked at him.

 

Those flawless, broad shoulders, his blonde hair all mussed up, his lips dark and flushed and _sucking Tony’s cock._ Oh, this isn’t going to last long.

“Fuck, Steve-” But Steve didn’t stop, didn’t take his eyes off of Tony’s, until that heat suddenly just broke inside him and he was coming in Steve’s mouth. Steve kept sucking him, his hand still caressing Tony’s hip, until Tony collapsed back into the sheets.

 

The world drifted out of focus for… a while. He didn’t know. For however long, Tony was flooded by euphoria, like he was lying at the bottom of an ocean, his heart beating all around him. Then he blinked, and there was Steve, looking down on him – and Tony really saw him. This man who had saved the universe, made Tony smile, taken on the world, this man who was so beautiful, so extraordinary – Tony was _so_ in love with him. He grabbed him and kissed him, deep and warm and messy, his whole body still washed through with pleasure.

“Oh God, I love you” Tony whispered, as Steve stroked his hand roughly though his hair. Tony’s brain began to process the need he could still feel in Steve’s touches.

“I love you” Steve’s voice was still hot and desperate, and Tony was remembering that Steve still _wanted_ him. It affected him differently now, more emotional than physical, and it flooded him with a sudden desire to please Steve.

 

He pushed Steve until he was on his back, Tony lying on his side next to him. Tony’s hands were still shaking just slightly when he unbuttoned Steve’s jeans.

“Yeah?” He whispered, his fingers poised over Steve’s zipper.

“Yes” Steve answered quickly, lifting his hips as Tony unzipped him and pulled his jeans down his legs. When Steve kicked his clothes onto the floor Tony glanced back up at him –

 

And paused.

 

Steve Rogers, naked and flawless and hard, just _displayed_ there for him. Tony ran his eyes over him hungrily, unable to process how gorgeous Steve was, his chest heaving and his eyes blown wide and his lips still wet. Tony’s hand went to Steve’s chest instinctively, and the way Steve gasped and leant up into him brought Tony back to his senses. He wanted to give Steve everything, he wanted Steve to feel as good as he did.

 

Tony ran a firm hand down Steve’s stomach, watching Steve part his lips, knowing he was so far gone already. Then he stroked his fingers along the shaft of Steve’s cock and Steve’s breath hitched, his eyes widening pleadingly, and Tony thought, _that._ _I want that._ Tony ran a thumb over the tip of him, watching Steve’s face as he fell apart, open and vulnerable and perfect. Steve’s eyes fell shut as Tony closed his hand around him and slowly stroked the length of him, a needy whine escaping him as Tony began to pick up the pace. He jerked his hips up into Tony’s hand, breathing high and fast, one hand reaching up to caress Tony’s shoulder encouragingly.

“Oh, I _adore_ you” Tony promised, and Steve could only whimper in response “I love all of you, I just want you to be happy, I just want _this_ ”

“Tony, I, _ah-”_ Steve panted, and Tony could hear the urgency in it.

“It’s okay baby, you can come, I want you to.”

“Oh fuck, Tony-” Steve surrendered, his whole body tensing as he came over Tony’s hand.

 

For a good few minutes, Tony was happy to just stare at him. He had literally never seen anything as lovely as Steve was right then; his body soft and pliant, his skin flushed pink and damp with sweat, a look of relief and wonder on his pretty face. There was the slightest hint of an amazed smile, and Tony thought _I did that_.

 

“I love you” Tony told him again, and Steve glanced up at him like he was just coming out of a trance. His eyes were still heavy, and he looked at Tony so softly that it made Tony’s chest ache.

“I love you too” Steve whispered back, putting a hand to the side of Tony’s face and bringing Tony in to kiss him. Tony kept kissing him, warm and slow and affectionate, as he snuggled into Steve. Then Steve’s hand slid up into his hair, and Tony had to break the kiss to smile.

“I have _never_ been this happy” Tony sighed, and he felt Steve take a deep, shuddering breath.

“I’ve never been this happy, I’ve never felt anything like this, I don’t deserve this” was as much as Steve managed. And Tony actually giggled, because really, Steve was lying here saying _he_ didn’t deserve Tony – and he meant it. This was ridiculous.

 

“You deserve to be happy every minute of every day for the rest of your life, Steve” Tony grinned, letting one hand rest over Steve heart. “You are a wonderful, kind, brave, beautiful person, and you’ve tried so hard, and life has never been fair to you – and I’m sorry, too” He felt Steve go to interrupt him, and he talked over it “I’m sorry for everything you had to go through alone, I’m sorry for not knowing and not helping you – but I will now, if you’ll let me.”

“Tony...” Steve exhaled, and Tony just smiled and kissed him again, because he could.

 

They both knew, they wouldn’t be happy every day for the rest of their lives. Even without the wounds they’d inflicted on each other, and all the healing they still had to do, there would always be pain and sacrifice in their lives. That was the burden they carried; that was who they were. But as of right now, it wasn’t all they were. For the first time ever, they both knew they would be happy, truly happy, for at least some of those days. For the first time ever, they were both truly happy together. Neither of them were pretending now, or hiding, or running from the bad thoughts – and they had the whole night ahead of them.

 

And, for the moment, it was enough.   

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading.


End file.
